批改作文时,我常看到这样的句子:学生想表达”很多人错过了接种疫苗的机会”,写出来是 Many people missed the chance to get vaccinated;想表达”情况在倒退”,只会写 Things are going back。语法没错,但读起来像机器翻译。
问题出在哪?表达”退步、失去、风险”这类负面变化时,中文学生手里只有 miss、go back、be in danger 这几个词。而英文记者描述同样的情境,会动用一整套更精准、更有画面感的表达。今天我们从FT一篇关于全球儿童疫苗接种率下降的报道里,学5个能直接用进作文的高分表达。
📖 素材来源: FT №181 — Covid pandemic leads to huge drops in childhood vaccinations(2021年7月)
FT原文示范
The Covid-19 pandemic has led to huge drops in childhood vaccinations, leaving countries more vulnerable to disease outbreaks, the World Health Organization has warned.
At least 23m children worldwide missed out on routine jabs last year as health services were disrupted, according to data from the WHO and Unicef. Vaccination rates fell in most countries, with south-east Asia and the eastern Mediterranean regions the most badly affected.
“Even as countries clamour to get their hands on Covid-19 vaccines, we have gone backwards on other vaccinations, leaving children at risk from devastating but preventable diseases like measles, polio or meningitis,” he said.
Seth Berkley, chief executive of the vaccines alliance Gavi, said the “alarming numbers” suggest “unravelling years of progress”. “This is a wake-up call: we cannot allow a legacy of Covid-19 to be the resurgence of measles, polio and other killers.”
中文对照
世界卫生组织警告称,新冠疫情已导致儿童疫苗接种率大幅下降,使各国更容易爆发疾病。
世卫组织和联合国儿童基金会公布的数据显示,因新冠疫情扰乱卫生服务,去年全球至少有2300万儿童错过了常规疫苗接种。大多数国家的接种率都有所下降,东南亚和东地中海地区受到的影响最大。
“恰恰在各国争着要获得新冠疫苗的时候,我们在其他疫苗接种方面出现了倒退,使儿童面临麻疹、小儿麻痹症或脑膜炎等灾难性但可预防的疾病的风险。”
疫苗联盟Gavi首席执行官伯克利表示,这些”令人震惊的数字”表明”多年进展正在付诸东流”。“这是一个警钟:我们不能让新冠疫情的遗留问题是麻疹、小儿麻痹症和其他致命疾病的卷土重来。“
词汇解析
1. miss out on — 错过(本应得到的机会/事物)
原文出处: “At least 23m children worldwide missed out on routine jabs last year”
为什么好: 学生写”错过”只会 miss,但 miss 是中性、模糊的;miss out on 强调”本该得到却失去了”,暗含惋惜与损失感,非常适合写机会、资源、福利的流失。
考场用法对比
❌ 学生初版 Many poor students miss the chance to study abroad.
✅ 升级版 Many students from low-income families miss out on the opportunity to study abroad.
💡 效果 miss out on 自带”遗憾损失”的语气,让读者立刻感到机会被浪费的可惜,比干巴巴的 miss 有温度。
例句: Children who skip breakfast miss out on the energy they need for morning classes.
2. go backwards on — 在……方面倒退
原文出处: “we have gone backwards on other vaccinations”
为什么好: 学生写”倒退”只会 go back,但 go back 是指”回到某处”或”返回”。go backwards on 专指”在某件事上退步/开倒车”,后面直接跟领域,是政论和议论文的高频搭配。
考场用法对比
❌ 学生初版 The country’s education level is going back.
✅ 升级版 The region has gone backwards on girls’ education in recent years.
💡 效果 go backwards on + 具体领域,把”笼统的退步”变成”某个方面的明确倒退”,论述更有靶心。
例句: We must not go backwards on the progress we have made in environmental protection.
3. leave sb at risk from — 使某人面临……的风险
原文出处: “leaving children at risk from devastating but preventable diseases”
为什么好: 学生表达”使……面临风险”只会 put sb in danger,而 danger 是笼统的”危险”。leave sb at risk from 是”把某人暴露在某种具体风险之下”,从原因自然过渡到后果,是因果链写作的利器。
考场用法对比
❌ 学生初版 This puts students in danger of losing interest.
✅ 升级版 Excessive homework leaves students at risk from burnout and loss of motivation.
💡 效果 at risk from + 具体风险(burnout、disease、exclusion),比 in danger 精准得多,逻辑上也完成了”原因→后果”的闭环。
例句: Delaying climate action leaves coastal cities at risk from flooding.
4. a wake-up call — 警钟;当头一棒
原文出处: “This is a wake-up call: we cannot allow a legacy of Covid-19 to be the resurgence of measles”
为什么好: 学生想表达”这件事给我们敲响了警钟”,会写成 this tells us something,平淡且口语。a wake-up call 是地道的名词短语,一个词就完成”警示+转折”功能,非常适合用在结尾段升华。
考场用法对比
❌ 学生初版 This tells us we should pay attention to children’s health.
✅ 升级版 The pandemic is a wake-up call for governments to invest more in preventive healthcare.
💡 效果 wake-up call 把”说教”变成”警醒”,语气更重、更专业,结尾段用它能让全文立意瞬间拔高。
例句: The sharp fall in exam scores was a wake-up call for the whole school.
5. unravelling years of progress — 多年努力付诸东流
原文出处: “the ‘alarming numbers’ suggest ‘unravelling years of progress’”
为什么好: 学生写”努力白费了”只会 all our efforts are wasted。unravel 本义是”(织物)散线、解开”,引申为”(成就、计划)瓦解、崩塌”,画面感极强,是高级记叙文和议论文都爱用的隐喻动词。
考场用法对比
❌ 学生初版 All our hard work is wasted because of the virus.
✅ 升级版 The crisis threatens to unravel years of progress in public health.
💡 效果 unravel 让”白费”有了”像毛衣脱线一样一点点散开”的画面,比 wasted 高级一个档次,还能用在”功亏一篑”类话题。
例句: A single careless decision could unravel years of progress in the peace talks.
写作建议
这5个表达其实组成了一条完整的**“退步—风险—警钟”表达链**:先写错过(miss out on),再写倒退(go backwards on),接着写由此带来的风险(leave sb at risk from),最后用警钟(wake-up call)和崩溃隐喻(unravel)收尾。以后写”环境恶化""健康危机""教育退步”这类话题,可以整条链一起用,段落会立刻有层次。
另外提醒:这类表达大多来自官方机构报告(WHO、Unicef、Gavi),说明”数据来源 + 权威引语 + 生动动词”是英文新闻报道的黄金组合。平时读外刊时,多留意机构名称和引语动词(warned、suggest、called for),它们都是你作文里的”权威背书”。
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