在很多同学的写作中,定语从句往往被简化为 who is... 或 which... 的简单叠加,导致句子结构重复,读起来像流水账。而真正的母语级写作,会将定语从句作为一种「信息压缩」工具,在不破坏句子流畅度的前提下,迅速地在主语后补充背景信息。
今天我们通过一篇关于美墨边境危机的报道,来看看 FT 是如何通过定语从句实现这种「高效压缩」的。
The Biden administration is struggling to address an influx of unaccompanied minors attempting to cross the US southern border as figures confirmed a sharp jump in attempted crossings by people in the weeks since Joe Biden took office.
试图从美国南部边境进入美国的无人陪同的未成年人激增,令拜登(Biden)政府难以招架。数据显示,乔•拜登(Joe Biden)上任这些周,美国边境闯关者急剧增加。
在这篇文章中,我们可以看到几种非常典型的定语从句(及简化形式)应用,能够直接迁移到各类议论文中。
💡 核心教学点:定语从句的信息压缩术
1. 身份/背景的快速补完 (The Appositive-like Relative Clause)
原文中出现了:...Roberta Jacobson, the co-ordinator for the southwestern border on the National Security Council, advised that...
虽然这里是同位语,但其逻辑与非限制性定语从句一致。在考场写作中,当你引入一个专家或机构观点时,不要分两句写,而要用这种「插入式」结构。
❌ 学生初版 Mr. Smith is a professor of economics. He says that inflation is rising.
✅ 升级版 Mr. Smith, who is a professor of economics, argues that inflation is rising. (或者直接用同位语: Mr. Smith, a professor of economics, argues that…)
💡 效果 将「身份」变为「背景」,让读者的注意力集中在「观点」上,使文章显得更专业、更像学术报道。
2. 复杂条件的精准界定 (Defining Constraints)
原文:...a programme to help children arriving from Central America, which will allow eligible children from El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras to reunite with their US-based parents, if the parents are legally residing in the US.
这里 which 引导的从句不仅解释了 programme 的内容,还通过 if 引导的条件从句进一步限定了 parents 的状态。
❌ 学生初版 The government started a new plan. This plan helps children. The children can meet their parents. But the parents must live in the US legally.
✅ 升级版 The government launched a programme to support displaced children, which allows those eligible to reunite with parents who are legally residing in the US.
💡 效果
将四个碎片化句子压缩为一个长句。通过 which 和 who 的嵌套,构建出严密的逻辑链条:计划 → 目的 → 受益人 → 前提条件。
3. 状态与结果的同步描述 (Concurrent State)
原文:...people in the weeks since Joe Biden took office.
这里虽然是时间状语,但其逻辑结构类似于 the weeks (which have passed) since...。在描述一个现象的持续时间或背景时,直接用 since 或 during which 引导。
❌ 学生初版 Many people moved to cities. This happened after the industrial revolution started.
✅ 升级版 A massive migration to urban centers occurred in the decades following the Industrial Revolution, during which social structures were radically transformed.
💡 效果
避免了 And then... 或 After that... 这种简单的时间衔接,使叙事具有时间上的纵深感。
✍️ 写作建议
定语从句的最高境界不是「写长」,而是「精准」。
- 避免冗余:如果一个词(如 who is)可以省掉(转化为分词或同位语),就果断省掉。
- 层次感:一个句子中尽量不要出现超过两个
which/who,否则会造成阅读疲劳。 - 功能化:问自己,这个从句是为了「定义对象」还是「补充背景」?定义对象用限制性从句(无逗号),补充背景用非限制性从句(有逗号)。
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