中国学生最常写的开头是什么?
“Recently, …” 或者 “With the development of …” —— 这两个开头占了中高考和雅思作文的80%以上。不是不对,而是考官已经看了上千遍了。
今天我们从《金融时报》一篇外交报道中学一种不一样的开头方式和一种有深度的收尾技法。
原文:FT №113 — North Korea withdraws from Tokyo Olympics
一、FT原文示范
英文原文:
North Korea has withdrawn from the Tokyo Olympics because of the coronavirus pandemic, dashing Seoul’s hopes of using the event to improve inter-Korean relations and revive nuclear talks.
The decision to miss the Games scheduled to begin in July was made by North Korea’s Olympics committee on March 25, a website run by the country’s sports ministry said, citing the need to protect its athletes from the global health crisis.
[…]
“It is hard to expect any breakthrough in inter-Korean relations and nuclear talks as Biden is unlikely to lift sanctions while Kim continues to push for nuclear weapons,” said Kim Jae-chun, a professor at Sogang University and former government adviser.
中文对照:
朝鲜因新冠疫情退出东京奥运会,这一决定粉碎了韩国利用奥运会改善朝韩关系并重启核谈判的希望。
朝鲜体育部运营的一个网站称,退出原定于今年7月开幕的奥运会的决定,是朝鲜奥委会在3月25日做出的,给出的理由是保护朝鲜运动员免受全球健康危机的影响。
[…]
西江大学教授、前政府顾问金宰春表示:“很难指望朝韩关系和核谈判有任何突破,因为拜登不太可能解除制裁,而金正恩继续推进核武器。“
二、两种开头收尾技巧拆解
技巧一:分词翻转式开头 — 用现在分词制造”结果翻转”效果
原文(首句):
North Korea has withdrawn from the Tokyo Olympics … dashing Seoul’s hopes of using the event to improve inter-Korean relations and revive nuclear talks.
为什么好?
首句的信息结构极为精妙:
- 主句陈述事实——“朝鲜退出东京奥运会”
- 现在分词
dashing引出反转性结果——“粉碎了韩国的希望”
这个结构的好处在于:一句话内完成了”事件陈述 + 后果评价”。读者读完整句话,不仅知道了”发生了什么”,还知道了”这意味着什么”——信息密度是学生版的两倍。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版
The government decided to close the factory. Many workers lost their jobs. This was a big problem.
✅ 升级版
The government decided to close the factory, dashing the hopes of thousands of workers who had relied on the plant for their livelihoods.
💡 效果
分词短语 dashing... 把三个短句合并成一个长句,信息更紧凑、逻辑更清晰。dash hopes 是一个固定搭配的”感情色彩动词”,比 disappoint 更有画面感——“希望被砸碎”。
模板:
[Main event], dashing/shattering/undermining [someone’s] hopes of [expected outcome].
技巧二:以具体代空泛 — 用细节积累支撑宏观叙事
原文(第三、四段):
North Korea took part in the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. Kim Jong Un … sent a delegation led by his sister … accompanied by hundreds of red-clad North Korean cheerleaders who captivated global audiences.
At the Pyeongchang Olympics, athletes from the two Koreas marched together under a unified flag in the opening ceremony …
为什么好?
在首句抛出”朝鲜退出——粉碎希望”的结论后,作者没有马上进入分析,而是用了一段具体的回忆——2018年平昌冬奥会上,朝鲜派代表团参加、韩朝运动员举统一旗入场、数百名红衣啦啦队惊艳世界。
这段”闪回”有两个作用:
- 为”希望”注入实体感——读者不需要抽象地猜”什么希望”,而是看到了具体的画面
- 建立强烈对比——“曾经一起入场的两个国家,如今一个退出了”
这是一个非常高级的”展开式”写法,适合用在开头段之后的”背景铺垫”部分。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版
In the past, China and the US had good relations. But now there are many problems.
✅ 升级版
Just a decade ago, Chinese and American students exchanged freely, with thousands studying in each other’s universities each year. Today, that number has dropped by more than half — a stark reminder of how much the relationship has cooled.
💡 效果 用具体的数字 (“thousands studying in each other’s universities”) 和对比结构 (“Just a decade ago… Today…”) 替代空泛的说”关系变差”。具体细节让读者”看见”过去,而不是”听说”过去。
模板:
[Time reference in the past], [concrete detail about a better time]. Today, [contrasting reality] — a reminder of [the shift/ loss/ change].
技巧三:前瞻式收尾 — 用专家分析收束全文,余韵悠长
原文(结尾段):
“It is hard to expect any breakthrough in inter-Korean relations and nuclear talks as Biden is unlikely to lift sanctions while Kim continues to push for nuclear weapons,” said Kim Jae-chun, a professor at Sogang University and former government adviser.
为什么好?
这不是一段普通的引语——它是有逻辑的引语。教授说的话包含了一个完整的原因链:
拜登不太可能解除制裁 + 金正恩继续推进核武器 → 很难期待突破
也就是说,引语本身就是一个”论点 + 论据”的完整论证单元。用来收尾,读者读完最后一个句子会觉得”这篇文章给出了有深度的判断,而不是简单的总结”。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版
In conclusion, environmental protection is very important. We must all work together to save the earth.
✅ 升级版
“It is unrealistic to expect significant emissions reduction without binding regulations on heavy industry,” said Dr Chen, a climate policy researcher, adding that “voluntary pledges alone will not achieve the targets.”
💡 效果 专家引语本身就提供了”因”(没有约束性法规)和”果”(减排目标不可能实现)的逻辑链。读者不需要作者再解释什么——用引语”展现”判断,而不是”说出来”。
模板:
“[Balanced judgment using because/while/as structure],” said [credible expert], [credentials].
三、两种技巧的进阶组合
| 段落位置 | 技巧 | 核心手法 |
|---|---|---|
| 首句 | 分词翻转式 | 事实 + dashing/shattering + 反转结果 |
| 第二段 | 以具体代空泛 | 时间具体化 + 画面细节 + 建立对比 |
| 结尾段 | 前瞻式引语 | 专家引语含因果链,避免”我认为”式主观判断 |
这套组合尤其适合”描述变化/冲突”类的议论文、新闻报道型雅思小作文,以及高考读后续写中的”开局段”。
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