读《金融时报》学英文写作:同位语的「挂件」思维——从字节跳动出售AI技术学一处主句挂四层信息

批改作文时,我常看到这样的介绍:

The company is called X. It is a Chinese company. It sells AI. It has offices in Singapore. Singapore is its main hub. It also has offices in London.

六句话,六块砖平铺在地上;而且读到第二句,读者已经忘了第一句在介绍谁。学生真正的困难不是不会用同位语,而是不知道一个新名字第一次出现时该怎么”挂”信息:用逗号、用 or、还是用 called?

英文记者处理”介绍”这件事,用的是挂件思维:主句骨架只写一件事,其余信息全部当作配件挂在名词后面——一处挂三四层也不会乱,因为读者始终知道配件挂的是谁的。

今天我们读《金融时报》2021年7月关于字节跳动把 TikTok 背后的AI技术卖给海外企业的报道,学4种挂件结构:一处主句挂四层、or 交代别名、called 给产品定名,以及在 which 从句里再插一个主谓。

📖 素材来源: FT №180 — ByteDance starts selling AI that powers TikTok to other companies(Tim Bradshaw 伦敦报道,2021年7月)

英文原文

A new division called BytePlus quietly launched in June and already lists customers all over the world, including in the US.

The new unit has recruited staff in Singapore, its main hub, as well as London and Hong Kong, from enterprise technology companies including Microsoft and IBM, according to employees’ LinkedIn profiles.

Volcano Engine, or Volcengine, counts JD.com, Vivo and Geely among its customers.

ByteDance’s first enterprise product, a corporate collaboration app called Lark, launched in 2019, as an alternative to Slack or Microsoft’s Teams.

Its computer vision technology can detect and track 18 points around the body from head to feet as users dance or gesture in front of the camera, which BytePlus suggests could be used for beauty or fashion apps.

中文对照

一个名为 BytePlus 的新部门在6月悄然成立,客户已遍布全球,包括美国。

这个新部门在新加坡(其主要枢纽)以及伦敦和香港招募员工,员工来自微软、IBM 等企业科技公司——依据是员工们的领英资料。

火山引擎(Volcano Engine,英文名 Volcengine)的客户包括京东、Vivo 和吉利。

字节跳动的首款企业产品是一款名为 Lark(飞书)的协作应用,2019年推出,作为 Slack 或微软 Teams 的替代品。

其计算机视觉技术可以在用户对着镜头跳舞或做手势时,从头到脚检测并追踪身体上的18个点;BytePlus 称,这项技术可用于美妆或时尚类应用。

4个高分结构

结构一:一个主句挂四层——“The new unit has recruited staff in Singapore, its main hub, as well as London and Hong Kong”

原文出处:报道中段。把这句话拆开看,主句只有五个词:

主句骨架: The new unit has recruited staff.

挂在宾语 staff 后面的四层配件:

  • ① in Singapore, its main hub, —— 第一个地点 + 这个地点的身份注释(“其主要枢纽”),用 its 回指,不用再写一遍公司名
  • ② as well as London and Hong Kong, —— 并列追加另外两个地点
  • ③ from enterprise technology companies including Microsoft and IBM, —— 员工的来源
  • ④ according to employees' LinkedIn profiles. —— 信息来源,句尾两三个词交代,不带主谓

为什么好:四层信息全部挂在宾语后面,主句的主谓(has recruited)一次都没有被打断。中文思维会拆成”新部门招人。招的是新加坡的人。新加坡是它的主要枢纽。它还在伦敦和香港招人。这些人来自微软和IBM。”

❌ 学生初版 The new unit has recruited staff. They are in Singapore. Singapore is its main hub. It has also recruited in London and Hong Kong.

✅ 升级版(原文)

The new unit has recruited staff in Singapore, its main hub, as well as London and Hong Kong, from enterprise technology companies including Microsoft and IBM, according to employees’ LinkedIn profiles.

💡 效果 地点 → 注释 → 追加 → 来源,一路挂下去,读者的理解负担没有增加,因为每一层都还在讲 staff。its main hub 里的 its 是回指,省掉了主语的重复。

模板: [主句骨架] + [地点], [地点注释], as well as [追加地点], from [来源], according to [出处]. 例句(仿写示例): The studio has hired designers in Xiamen, its home base, as well as Shenzhen and Hangzhou, from companies including NetEase and ByteDance, according to its website.

结构二:or 别名同位语——“Volcano Engine, or Volcengine, counts JD.com, Vivo and Geely among its customers.”

原文出处:末尾几段。同一个业务有两个名字(中文名、英文名,或者全称、简称),FT 用一对逗号加一个 or 一次交代完。

为什么好:X, or Y, 里的 or 不是”或者”,而是”也就是”。这个名字交代过之后,下文就可以放心用短名。学生的问题往往不是没写,而是漏写:直接写 Volcengine,读者不知道它和前面的 Volcano Engine 是同一个东西,只好停下来猜。

❌ 学生初版 Volcano Engine counts JD.com, Vivo and Geely among its customers. Volcengine is its English name.

✅ 升级版(原文)

Volcano Engine, or Volcengine, counts JD.com, Vivo and Geely among its customers.

💡 效果 别名只占两个词,主句照常往前走。这个结构在雅思写作里同样好用:给中国特有的机构、项目一个英文别称,读者一次就记住。

⚠️ 提醒:两个逗号都不能省略。写成 Volcano Engine or Volcengine counts… 会被读成”两个名字并列做主语”,后面 counts 的单复数就会被质疑。

模板: [全名], or [短名/别称], + 谓语 例句(仿写示例): The National College Entrance Examination, or gaokao, decides the next three years for most Chinese students.

结构三:给「新东西」定名——“ByteDance’s first enterprise product, a corporate collaboration app called Lark”

原文出处:倒数第三段。产品第一次出场时,同位语给足了三个信息:类别(app)、用途(corporate collaboration)、名字(Lark)。

为什么好:学生介绍新产品只会写 Lark is a new app. It is for collaboration.——先给名字、再解释,读者得读两遍才拼出”这是什么东西”。英文的顺序相反:先给类别,再给名字,因为类别告诉读者它在世界上的位置,名字只是标签。中间的 called 是分词定名,比 which is called 短一半。

❌ 学生初版 Lark is a new product. It is for collaboration. ByteDance launched it in 2019.

✅ 升级版(原文)

ByteDance’s first enterprise product, a corporate collaboration app called Lark, launched in 2019, as an alternative to Slack or Microsoft’s Teams.

💡 效果 一句话交代”类别 + 用途 + 名字 + 时间 + 定位”,而且定位用的是 as an alternative to——直接告诉读者”对标谁”,比 the same as Slack 精确得多。

模板: [所属主体]'s [第几个] [产品], a [类别] called [名字], + 谓语 例句(仿写示例): The school’s new service, a writing-correction programme called Lighthouse, started in 2022.

结构四:从句里再插主谓——“which BytePlus suggests could be used for beauty or fashion apps”

原文出处:报道讲计算机视觉技术那一段。这个 which 从句本来只需要写 which could be used for beauty or fashion apps;记者把来源 BytePlus suggests 塞进了从句的主语和谓语之间。

为什么好:一句里同时完成两件事——补一个用途,声明这是谁的说法。学生版通常是另起一句 BytePlus says it can be used…,句子变长,但信息层次没有变化。而且把来源插进从句,语气更客观:是公司的说法,不是记者下的结论。

⚠️ 提醒:插入的主谓要跟着从句主语走(BytePlus suggests,单数),插进去之后从句剩下的部分要能接上(suggests could be used)。

❌ 学生初版 Its technology can track 18 points on the body. BytePlus says it can be used for beauty apps.

✅ 升级版(原文)

Its computer vision technology can detect and track 18 points around the body from head to feet as users dance or gesture in front of the camera, which BytePlus suggests could be used for beauty or fashion apps.

💡 效果 把”谁说的”缩成两个词塞进从句,主句的信息量翻倍,句子长度几乎没变。

模板: [主句], which [来源/主体] + [say/suggest/estimate] + [从句谓语剩余部分] 例句(仿写示例): The method can cut marking time by half, which teachers say could free up more time for one-to-one feedback.

为什么学生的”介绍”总是像清单?

三个原因:

  1. 把名字和解释分成两句:英文里给一个新名词”建档”的动作(类别 + 用途 + 名字)本该在同一个名词短语里完成。
  2. 不知道别名要标记:全称与简称、中文名与英文名第一次同时出现,必须用 , or ... 挂上去,否则读者会以为它们是两样东西。
  3. 只有一个挂件位置:学生只会在句尾追加,其实主语后、宾语后、从句主谓之间都能挂;一处主句挂三层完全不违规。

写成规则就是一句:一句话只写一个主句骨架;配件挂在名词后面,一处最多三层,第四层就断句。

小练习

把下面这段”六句版”合并成一句(用结构一 + 结构三):

❌ The studio started in 2022. It is a writing-correction studio. It is called Lighthouse. It has corrected 3,000 essays. The essays come from students in Xiamen and Fuzhou. The number comes from its own records.

参考写法:

The studio, a writing-correction studio called Lighthouse, has corrected 3,000 essays from students in Xiamen and Fuzhou, according to its own records.

再练一次:给”厦门灯塔”补一个英文别称,用 , or + 短名, 写一句话。


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