读《金融时报》学英文写作:人物与机构同位语——身份名片和”别称回指”
批改作文时,最常见的一种”啰嗦”长这样:
❌ “Jen Psaki is the White House press secretary. She said the US will share vaccines.”
两句话,第一句报身份,第二句才进入正题。信息没错,但节奏拖沓——身份说明占掉了一半篇幅。《金融时报》记者处理同样信息只用一句话:把身份压成一个短语,插在名字后面,主句照常推进。
今天我们从FT一篇关于美国向海外分享6000万剂阿斯利康疫苗的报道中,学3种人物与机构同位语。这篇报道(2021年4月)虽然话题是疫情,但里面的三种结构适用于一切”引用某人观点 + 介绍机构背景”的作文场景——议论文、建议信、人物介绍都通用。
📖 素材来源: FT №130 — US to share up to 60m AstraZeneca vaccine doses overseas(2021年4月)
英文原文
The US will send up to 60m doses of the Oxford/AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccine overseas, the White House has announced, as the Biden administration comes under pressure to assist countries suffering a resurgence of the virus.
US officials said 10m US-made doses would be ready to ship “within weeks” after the Food and Drug Administration had carried out quality control checks, with 50m more in stages during May and June.
The UK drugmaker has not applied for authorisation in the US, although it has already made millions of doses ready to ship when it receives the green light from the US drugs regulator.
The White House did not say which countries would be prioritised for vaccine access, but demand is likely to be high from India, which is suffering a catastrophic second wave of infections. The White House said separately it would send extra medical supplies and vaccine materials to the south Asian country after a request from New Delhi.
“The administration is looking at options to share American-made AstraZeneca vaccine doses,” Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary, said on Monday. “We do not need to use AstraZeneca in our fight against Covid.”
中文对照
白宫宣布,美国将向海外提供多达6000万剂牛津/阿斯利康(Oxford/AstraZeneca)新型冠状病毒肺炎疫苗。眼下,拜登(Biden)政府正面临援助疫情反弹国家的压力。
美国官员表示,在美国食品药品监督管理局(FDA)进行质量控制检查后,1000万剂美国生产的阿斯利康疫苗将在”几周内”准备好发货,另外5000万剂将在5月和6月分阶段发货。
这家英国制药商尚未在美国申请批准,尽管它已在美国生产了数百万剂疫苗,待美国食品药品监督管理局批准后即可发货。
白宫没有说哪些国家将优先获得这些疫苗,但印度的需求可能最迫切,该国正遭受灾难性的第二波疫情冲击。白宫还表示,应新德里的请求,将向这个南亚国家提供额外的医疗物资和疫苗原料。
“政府正在考虑分享美国生产的阿斯利康疫苗的可选方案,“白宫新闻秘书珍•萨基(Jen Psaki)周一表示,“我们不需要使用阿斯利康疫苗应对国内疫情。“
3个高分结构
结构一:职务定位同位语——“人名, the [机构’s] [职务], said”
“The administration is looking at options to share American-made AstraZeneca vaccine doses,” Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary, said on Monday.
为什么好: 记者没有先写一句”She is the White House press secretary”,而是把职务塞进引语标注里,用一对逗号隔开。读者读到名字的瞬间就拿到职务信息,引语、身份、动词一次性完成。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版 Jen Psaki is the White House press secretary. She said the government is considering sharing vaccines.
✅ 升级版 “The government is considering sharing vaccine doses with other countries,” Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary, said.
💡 效果 两句变一句;引语开头直接呈现观点,身份藏在名字后面,权威感反而更强——读者先看到”说了什么”,再知道”谁说的”。
模板: “[观点]”, [人名], the [机构’s] [职务], said.
结构二:别称回指同位语——“the UK drugmaker / the south Asian country”
The UK drugmaker has not applied for authorisation in the US…
The White House said separately it would send extra medical supplies and vaccine materials to the south Asian country after a request from New Delhi.
为什么好: 前文已经点名 AstraZeneca 和 India,记者再次提及时不重复名字,而是用”类别+特征”的别称:the UK drugmaker(英国制药商)、the south Asian country(这个南亚国家)。这种别称回指让段落有了”指代链”,读起来像作者在带着读者走,而不是在机械复读。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版 AstraZeneca has not applied for authorisation in the US. AstraZeneca has already made millions of doses.
✅ 升级版 AstraZeneca has not applied for authorisation in the US. The UK drugmaker has already made millions of doses ready to ship.
💡 效果 第二次提及换用别称,句子立刻有变化;“the UK drugmaker”还额外补充了”这家公司来自英国”的信息——别称不只是换词,还是一次免费加信息的机会。
模板: [机构/国家全名] … The [类别] [名词] …(第二次提及时使用)
结构三:机构全称同位语——“the Food and Drug Administration”
US officials said 10m US-made doses would be ready to ship “within weeks” after the Food and Drug Administration had carried out quality control checks…
为什么好: 中国学生一提监管机构就写”FDA”或”the government”,要么太缩写、要么太笼统。FT记者在正式报道中第一次提及机构时写出全称”the Food and Drug Administration”,让读者明确知道是哪个机构、管什么。全称本身就是一种信息密集型同位语——机构名即职能说明。
考场用法对比:
❌ 学生初版 The FDA checked the vaccines. Then the US can ship them.
✅ 升级版 The doses would be ready to ship within weeks after the Food and Drug Administration had carried out quality control checks.
💡 效果 用全称替代缩写,句子更正式、信息更完整;在作文里写”the Food and Drug Administration”而不是”FDA”,瞬间有外刊腔。
模板: after the [机构全称] had [动作]…(正式语境的机构介绍)
写作建议
同位语是”信息压缩器”,但它有三条使用纪律:
- 第一次提及用全称,之后用别称或代词。 结构二和结构三是搭配使用的:全称建立身份,别称维持指代链。别在同一段里全称、别称、代词混用三次。
- 职务同位语只插一次。 一篇文章里反复用”Name, the [title], said”会显得刻意,第一处建立权威后,后面直接用名字。
- 同位语后必有主句。 最容易犯的错是写完同位语就结束句子——记住公式:[名词], [同位语], [主句动词]。同位语只是插曲,主句才是正片。
今日练习: 用今天学的3个结构,把下面这段”两句话式”升级成一段80词的发言引用:
❌ Mr Wang is the headmaster of our school. He said students should read more. He also said reading is very important. Our school is a key school in Xiamen.
试着把职务信息折叠成同位语、把”our school”第二次提及换成别称,让整段只有一条指代链。
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